


I'll be something better yet

by komhmagnus



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a kind of happy ending, Apologies, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, based on my predictions after the 2x18 promo, he's ok at the end tho, i have no clue how to tag this wow, i would never hurt my son, not like casserole clam, poor bby max is hurt, this is my first fic idk what i'm doing honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 03:19:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11614788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komhmagnus/pseuds/komhmagnus
Summary: This is my first fic, so it's probably god awful, I apologize.Obviously I don't own any of the characters.Title is from All My Heroes by Bleachers.Find me on tumblr and twitter @komhmagnus





	I'll be something better yet

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so it's probably god awful, I apologize.  
> Obviously I don't own any of the characters.  
> Title is from All My Heroes by Bleachers.
> 
> Find me on tumblr and twitter @komhmagnus

The loft was dark as Magnus sat in his living room, head in his hands.  His drink sat forgotten on the coffee table.  He'd had to summon a bottle from the Hunter's Moon after he'd destroyed his own collection in his anger.  For hours he’d been reliving it all in his head:  learning that the Clave had lied, that _Alexander_ had lied.

 

Magnus knew logically that Alexander was trying to be a good leader, to unite the Shadowhunters and the Downworld.  But he’d lied, and logic didn’t make that pain any lesser.  He’d _trusted_ Alec.  Trusted him with his past, something he’d before only ever shared with Ragnor and Catarina.  Ragnor had been worthy of his trust all the way to his grave, and Magnus knew Catarina would be as well.  But Alec, he didn’t trust Magnus.  The thought made Magnus’s blood run cold.  How could he expect Alec to be worthy of his trust when Alec himself didn’t trust—

 

He was pulled from his thoughts by someone pounding on the door.  He’d been so caught up that he hadn’t felt someone approaching his wards.  Magnus waited, intent on avoiding whoever it was.

 

The pounding came again, this time accompanied with a pleading voice.  “Magnus, please, open the door!”  _Alexander_.  Magnus reached for his drink and drained the glass.  “Magnus, I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but please,” the words came in a rush, like Alec had forgotten how to breathe.  “I need your help, please.”  The last “please” sounded so utterly _helpless_ , and before Magnus knew it was happening, that “please” had urged him away from the couch and to his front door.  He opened it quickly before he could lose the nerve.

 

The first thing he noticed was how absolutely and utterly _wrecked_ Alec looked.  He looked as though he’d run the entire way across the city to get to the loft.  Magnus took one look at Alec’s face and figured he probably had.  It was clear Alec had been crying, his eyes still red, but there was something else too, a panic underneath the surface.  Like he was barely holding himself together.  And there was blood, too, a tiny spot on his cheek, and more on his clothes.  Despite himself, despite everything, Magnus felt himself pale in worry for his Shadowhunter.  What had Alec gotten himself into?

 

“Magnus, listen, I know you probably don’t want to see me or talk to me, and that I’m such an idiot for not trusting you and that I’ve given you no reason to trust me, but please I need you to help me.”  The words came in a rush, Magnus blinked.

 

“Alexander,” he said, his voice surprisingly calm, “slow down.  What happened?”

 

“Jonathan Morgenstern,” Alec said, and Magnus blanched.  “He’s alive.  He- he attacked the Institute.”

 

Worried clouded Magnus's thoughts.  “Are you hurt?” he started to ask.

 

“I’m fine, I’m not here about me.  It’s Max.”  Alec’s voice cracked as he spoke.  “Please, it’s bad, he needs your help.”  He paused.  “I need your help,” he spoke again, quieter than before.

 

Without a word, Magnus opened a portal to the courtyard outside of the Institute.  Alec gratefully accepted his outstretched hand as they stepped through the portal together.

 

\- - -

 

Alec was waiting with Izzy and Jace outside the door to the Institute’s infirmary when Magnus finally emerged hours later.  The trio, who’d been sitting bunched up together against the wall, shot up.  Three sets of panicked eyes stared at Magnus, looking for some indication of whether or not their little brother was okay.

 

Max had been badly injured when Magnus and Alec arrived at the Institute.  There was dried blood under his nose.  Alec had stood helplessly as Magnus moved to the boy’s bedside and carefully examined him.  Izzy and Jace had already been there, pacing back and forth anxiously.

 

“Trauma to the head,” he’d told Alec carefully.  “I think I can help him, but I need space to do so.”  Alec nodded and quietly slipped outside, Jace and Izzy following him out.

 

“He’s stable,” Magnus said now, instantly seeing relief flood the siblings’ eyes.  “He’ll be okay, but he needs to rest.  He’s still unconscious and probably won’t wake up until sometime tomorrow.”

 

Izzy stepped forward and kissed his cheek, pulling him into a tight hug.  “Thank you, Magnus.  Thank you for saving mi hermano.”  Magnus gave her a smile when she released him.

 

“Can we go in now?” Jace asked, his voice thick from hours of worry.

 

“Of course,” Magnus said.  “If anything changes in his condition, call me.”  Izzy and Jace nodded, and the three of them quickly disappeared into the infirmary.  Magnus leaned heavily against the wall for a moment, too exhausted to think about moving.  Finally, he turned to leave, much too tired to create a portal now.  He’d have to hail a taxi to get home.

 

“Magnus, wait.”  It was Alec, standing in the doorway of the infirmary.  He closed his eyes, steeling himself, before turning.

 

Magnus’s breath caught in his throat.  He hadn’t looked at Alec when he came out of the infirmary.  He’d focused on Isabelle, on Jace, on relaying Max’s condition.  But now it was just Alec.  _You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right_.  His own words echoed in his mind as he stared at Alec.

 

“Can we talk?  Please?”  Alec’s voice sounded more confident than he looked.  He had moved closer, standing right in front of Magnus now, hazel eyes searching.  Magnus gave him a small nod.  “Thank you for helping Max.  For helping me,” he added after a moment’s hesitation.

 

Magnus nodded again.  “Of course.  Your brother is so young, so full of spirit.  He deserves a long and happy life.”  _So do you_ , he almost added.  Magnus hated this, he realized.  Hated how tense and formal everything seemed between them now.  He’d begun to notice it as soon as the Downworld Cabinet had been assembled, with the new formality of _Mr. Bane_ and _Mr. Lightwood_.

 

“Magnus, I’m so sorry,” Alec said, pulling Magnus from his train of thought.  The sincerity in his words made Magnus blink.  “I should have trusted you and told you about the Soul Sword.”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Magnus asked.  He was afraid he already knew the answer.

 

“If this secret gets out, the entire Downworld will erupt into chaos and riots and it will be a whole new war, Magnus.  I-I couldn’t ask you to choose between me and your people.”  Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but Alec continued.  “But I think I see now why that wasn’t right.  I’m trying to unite downworlders and shadowhunters, but I can’t do that as long as I still think of them as a different people.  I’m trying so hard to counteract centuries worth of beliefs and discrimination and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

 

Alec reached for Magnus’s hand, gently, hesitantly.  As if he wasn’t sure Magnus would let him take it.  “I’m so sorry.  I keep making mistakes and, honestly?  It seems like everything I do makes things a hundred times worse.  The Downworld deserves better.  _You_ deserve better.”

 

Magnus searched hazel eyes before speaking.  “Thank you, Alexander, for saying all that.”  He hesitated.  “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but I believe you are sincere, so…I’m going to trust you with this information.”  Alec’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

“You don’t have to—” Alec began, but Magnus cut him off with a raised hand.

 

“I want to.  The Seelie Queen has proposed an alliance to the leaders of the Downworld.  An alliance against the Shadowhunters and the Clave.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Alec asked, his eyes filled with worry, like a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  Oh how Magnus wanted to lift that burden and run away with Alec to some far off place, where no mention of Shadowhunters or Downworlders or Soul Swords would ever reach them.

 

“I’m telling you because there are difficult decisions I have to make,” he answered.  Tears pricked his eyes.  “The only thing holding me back, is you.”  He expected Alec to turn away at that, at hearing that Magnus was considering the Queen’s offer.

 

“Magnus, I-I want you to know,” Alec said slowly, his voice shaking with emotion.  “I’ll support whatever decision you make.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose a certain side because of me.  I understand if you can’t trust the Clave or- or me anymore.  I want you to choose whichever side stands the best chance of helping the Downworld heal.  I-I get it if the Shadowhunters aren’t that chance.”

 

Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec.  It was innocent, a peck, really, but it felt like so much more than that.  It tasted of forgiveness and trust and home and _Alec_.  “Thank you,” he breathed when he pulled away.  He rested his forehead against Alec’s.  “And I do trust you.  And forgive you.”

 

“Magnus, I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”  Magnus pulled himself away from Alec.  “I should go home and rest.  Go take care of your brother.  I’ll let you know what I decide before I go to the Queen.”  Alec nodded.  “Goodnight, Alexander.”

 

“Goodnight, Magnus.”


End file.
